Have you ever feel, like a tug of feeling in your heart? Your throat lumping from sadness and all you wanted to do is to coil yourself into a roll of despair?
I have and I am at the point of breaking and really giving myself up. I really want to quit my study, stay abroad and become a stage actress or a painter or a kindergarten teacher. I really want to drop everything and start anew. All I ever wanted now is to have a refresh button and refresh everything into a whole new life. New blank page to be written.
But I have come to a point of realization, how disgusting and fucking selfish can I ever be to leave everything just because I feel the need to start anew? How stupid it would be just drop everything just because I feel something in my life is not right?
Because Life is not meant to be perfect and right. Life is meant to make wrong decisions, walk on wrong pathways, meeting wrong persons. That what make us all human. Full of weakness and mistakes. It makes us understand this world, and hopefully hereafter even better, though never perfectly.
So, tak apalah asyik terjatuh pun. Allah bagi can kita rasa sakit sebab bodoh dulu kan. Sekali sekala. Nanti Allah bagi lah tu can berjalan bahagia. Inshaallah kalau bukan sekarang, harapnya nanti.