Wednesday, December 29, 2010


i know, you probably wouldnt click play. but if you do, i want you to know that this particular song, made huge impact on me. yes, its very personal. and this, is very real. i know, i rarely tell you guys the truth here, but trust me when i said, this song, made me cry. ha ha me all you want.

i know u have a lot to handle now, but if i say i miss you, would you go blehh? i know, i've ignored you. i just dont want to sound so needy, so pushy. i know you'll hate it. you have so many to rub your back now. i'm happy for you. but when i read your old posts, something triggered inside of me. i miss you. one of us have to say it right? since you're too big for this, i'll do it. i miss you. really do.

i care too much when i love someone. thats my biggest biggest biggest problem. and when i care too much, i want to know everything. i want everything to be alright for you. dont get me wrong, i'm very happy with your courtship. it just that it saddened me i guess when i was no longer you best ear. so thats why i back off. i slow down. i fade away. i just want you to know, i'm pathetic, very pathetic to miss you this much, at this hour. but i just did. i miss you. i miss our thing. i miss my other half. shit i'm crying like i'm five.

i dont want to be seen as someone weak who needs help. i dont want to be seen as cry baby. because i am not. i can never say this kind of stuff in front of you, i dont have the guts. i cant even click your name whenever i see you online. i'm pathetic loser who perasan ego, i'm sorry. i miss you. i miss simon. i miss shadow. i miss poopsie-kin. i miss them. i miss us.

if you, by any chance read this, i just want to know, i love you. so much, sometimes just seeing you hurt, it hurt me. i know, it sound so novelish, but i do feel that. u can lie, acting like you're fine, but i can see pain in your eyes. i saw you cry all the time in class, during talks. maybe it was air mata lepas menguap, but i'm your other half remember? i read you. i know when you're hiding something from me. and it hurt me.jealousy, u can call him that. sigh.

i dont want to grow up and lose you. we are maturing up, and if it means going our separate ways.....sigh.i just hope, that i wouldnt have to think about it.

untuk kesekelian kalinya, i miss you.
you are right in front of my eyes, but you are not there anymore.
i miss us. :(

and i would love to have another chat-date in black canyon with you. would you?