Saturday, December 24, 2011

Since yesterday.


As fast as I say yes, is as fast as I will be bored with my 'yes'.

When I was a little kid, going outside used to be the best thing in the world. Playing with friends, running and screaming was my favourite past time. Yes, screaming. I love to run and scream. I like those feeling of owning the world in my hand, stepping on the mother Earth ground with my small leg, running from imaginary monster with the wind blowing on my face when I ran from my friend who supposedly chase and tap me so that I will be the one who need to chase them back (kejar kejar lah senang cerita) was the definite "aahhhhh". I still remember those time vividly.

When my mum called my name and asked me to go back home to take a bath because its already Maghrib and setan were everywhere running to find hiding place to avoid azan, that's the time of "alaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh already Ma??" I used to have this "dislike" feeling of having to going back home because in home, I have to finish my homework, homework and homework and it would not be as free as outside. Caged. That was my feeling. 

And yes. I was a lazy kid. Still am.

Then lets fast forward to few years later. I still hate being in home. At age of 14, I was on top of my years! I had few flings with couple of guys, my clique were the craziest, coolest bitches in town, at least that's how I looked at them. And ohh..I hate my dad when he refused to send me to Megamall, the most extreme and cool place to hang out at that time. Yes. I would instantly threw tantrum to him or my mother. I hate being in my room. I hate everything. I want to get away from my room, my house, my family, away from everything and everyone. Reminiscing it now, I was very stupid.

Very stupid and ignorant.

Because home, is the best place to escape. Escape from real world, escape from real-bitch friend who wouldn't stop talking bad about you, escape from mean people, escape from hectic and busy life, and most importantly, its the place, the only place that can make me feel safe inside and out. I can dance, I can scream(though the vibration is usually absorbed by my pillow), I can do my side flip, practice my back flip (haha tak pernah berjaya thanks to my weak cards), I can sing and of course, doing other normal things normal people do. I love it here.

I am studying in college now. Which means, living away from my mum and dad and my family. Which can also be define as, living away from my home. And I hate it. I hate not being able to do whatever I want. I hate having to pull on a mask and smile to everyone. I hate not being able to have time of my own. I hate being surrounded with so many people i hardly know. I hate every single moment of it. (Though I met few cool and adorable people there) I STILL HATE BEING AWAY FROM MY HOME.

That is exactly why, I prefer to stay home. You guys are always welcome here. I would love to have you guys in my home.

I miss my home. Although I'm very thankful my college is only about 1 hours and half to my home. HA! I caught you with your "eleh dekat je pun kecoh."

But still, home is home. No matter how far or how close you are with your home. Home is home.